Could Gratitude Cure a Struggling Relationship?
Maintaining a relationship calls for effort from both partners, but things aren’t always rosy, especially when the honeymoon phase comes to an end.
If you’re in a long-term relationship, you might find yourself taking your partner for granted. As your relationship matures, you might not put in the effort you did in the beginning when your love was at its newest. You no longer surprise each other with gifts, and you can’t recall the last time you went on a date. After a time of this pattern, you end up not appreciating them, taking their love for granted as something normal. You assume they’ll always be there and that you’ll always be together.
Unfortunately, that’s not how love works.
Left unattended, the flames of love are likely to die out, leaving one or both partners feeling neglected, ignored, and resentful.
Gratitude to the Rescue
The good news is there’s a way to breathe new life into your relationship and make your partner feel appreciated once again.
The simple fix is to inject feelings of gratitude into your relationship. That’s right, an attitude of gratitude just might be what the doctor ordered for your ailing relationship. This attitude shift means thinking not only about the special little or big things your partner does for you, but also feeling grateful for who they are as a person, and for their presence in your life.
It also means consciously thinking about all the good traits they have and being thankful you’re in a relationship with someone that awesome in the first place.
How Gratitude Helps Couples
How exactly can being grateful improve your relationship?
Well, consider this—research shows grateful couples consistently reported higher levels of satisfaction in their relationships and also felt closer to each other than those who weren’t grateful.
It turns out gratitude creates an ongoing cycle of generosity, appreciation, and more gratitude.
It starts out with you being grateful for your partner. You then start appreciating them and the things they do. You become more caring and attentive as you recognize how valuable they are. This, in turn, leads you to put more effort into maintaining your relationship. After all, a valuable partner is worth holding on to.
As a result, your partner picks up on this and feels more appreciated and valued. They, in turn, feel good about having someone as thoughtful, kind, and loving as you in their lives, causing them to also start working on maintaining the relationship. In the end, your relationship thrives thanks to your joint efforts.
Gratitude Communication Go Hand-in-Hand
Where to start with gratitude can be tough. It may be beneficial for both of you to take the relationship love languages test so you can see how your partner prefers to receive love and appreciation and vice versa.
For instance, say your significant other’s love languages are acts of service and words of affirmation. To express gratitude to your partner, maybe you take their car for an oil change or do the dishes when it was their turn to do them. It would also be important to verbally appreciate your partner, rather than relying on them intuiting your gratitude from actions alone.
Even if words of affirmation is not your partner’s love language, it is important to communicate your gratitude to your partner. Everyone likes to know they’re appreciated, whether at work or at home. So next time you notice something simple—like the trash was taken out without asking, or your partner picked you up your favorite snack—take a moment to verbally express your gratitude.
It can feel a little unnatural at first, especially if it’s not something you are used to doing, but it will pay off in the long run as you face the years together with your partner.
An Attitude of Gratitude is Good for All
Gratitude isn’t just good for your romantic relationships, it spills over into other relationships in your life. Being grateful for the people in your life can also help improve your relationships with your kids, co-workers, parents, siblings, and friends. Furthermore, it can improve your outlook on life, making you a happier person overall.
So the next time you catch yourself feeling disgruntled and under-appreciated in your relationship, take a break and think of all the things that make you grateful for your partner and watch your relationship blossom anew.
INSPIRATION: From uneducated hairdresser to parliament, Ghanian MP narrates her story
Ama Sey, whose full name is Mercy Adu Gyamfi has narrated how she rose from being an uneducated hairdresser onto the floor of parliament.
Mercy Adu Gyamfi gained popularity when she beat the National Democratic Congress’ bigwig, Baba Jamal in the 2016 general election
The form-4 leaver indicates that she had been mocked for her inability to speak English well but never gave up on the ambition- According to Ama Sey, she wept the day she entered parliament because she was overwhelmed by the reality of her achievement.
Telling her powerful story in a recent interview on Asempa FM’s Ekosii Sen programme, Ama Sey said she literally shed tears after entering the floor of Parliament because she never imagined it would be possible to have a person like herself reach that height.
In her own narration: “I never imagined an illiterate like me will have such an opportunity so I cried when I entered Parliament”.
The form-4 leaver gained popularity when she beat the National Democratic Congress’ bigwig, Baba Jamal in the 2016 general election. It came to many as a surprise after the underdog and political neophyte thwarted the parliamentary ambition of Mr Jamal.
Ama Sey says she has now realised the work in parliament goes beyond educational background adding that the people of Akwatia chose her because they believe she represents their best interests which are to champion the cause of her people and bring development to the area.
Romantic Gift Ideas Any Nigerian Lady Would Love On Valentine’s Day
A So if you are a sharp guy and really want your sweetheart to swoon this Valentine’s Day and beyond, try giving her any of these 7 gifts listed below:
1. Candlelight Dinner: Treat her with a romantic candle light dinner at her favorite restaurant along with Wine or Champagne and she would love it. Hand feed her at a candle lit table to some great music on a lovely night and say words of love. Nothing can move a woman more than words of love from the man she loves. But make sure you team it up with some alternate gifts too like Flowers or even a Chocolate you can share. It won’t be a bad idea to cook a special meal for her on a valentine’s day and freeing her from the responsibility of cooking on that day.
2. Gadgets: It is no news that Nigerian girls are very tech savvy and they surely love gadgets. Think smartphones, iPads, Tablets and even laptops… this would surely make your lady smile. If you step it up a little and give her the latest Android device or better still, the wave-making iPhone , you can be sure she will love you even more and cherish it for a very long time.
3. Jewelry: You’ve heard this a million times that Diamonds are a girl’s best friend and that is so true. But what if you don’t earn enough pay to afford a diamond jewelry? Jewelry wins the race with any woman as a romantic gift. There are hardly any women who cannot resist gold or gemstone jewelry. Silver or Platinum jewelry are welcome too as gifts. When you give jewelry try not to go for fakes. If you cannot afford a 22 carat go for 14 carat jewelry rather than gifting fakes.
4. Propose to her on Valentine’s Day: If you are going steady with your girlfriend and want to marry her nothing can be more romantic than proposing marriage and proclaiming your love and commitment to her by putting a ring on her finger! Buy her a ring and propose marriage to her on Valentine’s Day. This is one awesome thing you can give your lady which is surely priceless.
5. Perfumes: Perfumes make excellent romantic gifts if chosen wisely. If your woman is brand conscious make sure that you don’t pick up a cheap perfume for her from the street shop. You can buy her favorite fragrance, or make a new pick and encourage her to try another.
6. Pamper her with a Gift Voucher: If you just don’t know what to buy, you can give her a gift voucher to a good online store or mall where she can make a choice herself. Most women like luxury spa items that help to relax and unwind, so a gift voucher to a Spa would be a great idea. All women like pampering. You can pamper her with a nice massage if she is willing.
7. A Night out: Women like to spend quality time along with their partner or like others to see you two as a couple. Take her for a Movie or Play she wants to watch. You could also take her for a Valentine’s Day Party where you could dance together to the music. Whatever you decide on, make sure you enjoy your day with that special one and have a great time together.
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