Mr Sir has proposed and you say yes without skipping a beat. You are in love and nothing could be better, you can’t wait to share the rest of your life with him because he is your soulmate, the imperfectly perfect missing piece in the jigsaw puzzle you call your life. Now, with the excitement over and before dowry payment is done, there are certain things to consider before marrying Mr Sir:
1. Last name
Traditionally, women would drop their maiden names and take up their husband’s. But currently, many opt out of it or hyphenate the last name. So a discussion on whether you’ll take up Mr Sir’s last name is important to avoid an argument down the line. For some men, it is essential that his wife take up his last name and for others its no biggie. Sit Mr Sir down and come to a decision.
2. Finances and bills
You need to address the big elephant in the room, how will bills be split? Or will Mr Sir cater for all household matters? Such questions need to be raised and discussed in depth. The current economy is tricky and having a household with two incomes can ease up the burden greatly.
3. Living arrangements
Are you gonna move into Mr Sir’s house/ is he moving into yours? Are you guys moving into a new house? Living arrangements may seem like a minor detail but in some situations, it causes a rift between the newlyweds. Figure out where you will live and establish your roots as a family.
Yes, religion is a discussion that needs to happen. If you two are of different faiths then this topic needs to be dealt with early on. Will one move over to the other’s side? Will you two practice independently? Religion can be a big thorn in your backside and the earlier you come to an agreement the better.
Everyone expects immediately after marriage children happen. Even your mother-in-law is throwing not so subtle hints that the two of you should go at it and give her a grandchild before her time comes. The pressure is unbelievable and may leave you feeling overwhelmed. You and Mr Sir should discuss whether or not you want to make babies and if so, how many do you each of you want? How would you like to raise them? And if you do have kids, which religion will they practice in the initial stages before they find their way? That is if the two of you practice different religions.
6. How to handle the in-laws
In-laws can be overzealous, over-bearing and a whole damn mess. You and Mr Sir should discuss how you will handle them. When they come to visit what is the protocol? Who don’t you want in your house? What boundaries are you going to set? It’s nothing personal really, it just a means to ensure that the in-laws don’t become a bone of contention later on.
These are but a few aspects that need to be taken into consideration before you walk down the aisle. Don’t let the movies lie to you. Marriage is a partnership that comes with a tonne of Ts and Cs. The key is coming to an understanding with your partner.
INSPIRATION: From uneducated hairdresser to parliament, Ghanian MP narrates her story
Ama Sey, whose full name is Mercy Adu Gyamfi has narrated how she rose from being an uneducated hairdresser onto the floor of parliament.
Mercy Adu Gyamfi gained popularity when she beat the National Democratic Congress’ bigwig, Baba Jamal in the 2016 general election
The form-4 leaver indicates that she had been mocked for her inability to speak English well but never gave up on the ambition- According to Ama Sey, she wept the day she entered parliament because she was overwhelmed by the reality of her achievement.
Telling her powerful story in a recent interview on Asempa FM’s Ekosii Sen programme, Ama Sey said she literally shed tears after entering the floor of Parliament because she never imagined it would be possible to have a person like herself reach that height.
In her own narration: “I never imagined an illiterate like me will have such an opportunity so I cried when I entered Parliament”.
The form-4 leaver gained popularity when she beat the National Democratic Congress’ bigwig, Baba Jamal in the 2016 general election. It came to many as a surprise after the underdog and political neophyte thwarted the parliamentary ambition of Mr Jamal.
Ama Sey says she has now realised the work in parliament goes beyond educational background adding that the people of Akwatia chose her because they believe she represents their best interests which are to champion the cause of her people and bring development to the area.
Romantic Gift Ideas Any Nigerian Lady Would Love On Valentine’s Day
A So if you are a sharp guy and really want your sweetheart to swoon this Valentine’s Day and beyond, try giving her any of these 7 gifts listed below:
1. Candlelight Dinner: Treat her with a romantic candle light dinner at her favorite restaurant along with Wine or Champagne and she would love it. Hand feed her at a candle lit table to some great music on a lovely night and say words of love. Nothing can move a woman more than words of love from the man she loves. But make sure you team it up with some alternate gifts too like Flowers or even a Chocolate you can share. It won’t be a bad idea to cook a special meal for her on a valentine’s day and freeing her from the responsibility of cooking on that day.
2. Gadgets: It is no news that Nigerian girls are very tech savvy and they surely love gadgets. Think smartphones, iPads, Tablets and even laptops… this would surely make your lady smile. If you step it up a little and give her the latest Android device or better still, the wave-making iPhone , you can be sure she will love you even more and cherish it for a very long time.
3. Jewelry: You’ve heard this a million times that Diamonds are a girl’s best friend and that is so true. But what if you don’t earn enough pay to afford a diamond jewelry? Jewelry wins the race with any woman as a romantic gift. There are hardly any women who cannot resist gold or gemstone jewelry. Silver or Platinum jewelry are welcome too as gifts. When you give jewelry try not to go for fakes. If you cannot afford a 22 carat go for 14 carat jewelry rather than gifting fakes.
4. Propose to her on Valentine’s Day: If you are going steady with your girlfriend and want to marry her nothing can be more romantic than proposing marriage and proclaiming your love and commitment to her by putting a ring on her finger! Buy her a ring and propose marriage to her on Valentine’s Day. This is one awesome thing you can give your lady which is surely priceless.
5. Perfumes: Perfumes make excellent romantic gifts if chosen wisely. If your woman is brand conscious make sure that you don’t pick up a cheap perfume for her from the street shop. You can buy her favorite fragrance, or make a new pick and encourage her to try another.
6. Pamper her with a Gift Voucher: If you just don’t know what to buy, you can give her a gift voucher to a good online store or mall where she can make a choice herself. Most women like luxury spa items that help to relax and unwind, so a gift voucher to a Spa would be a great idea. All women like pampering. You can pamper her with a nice massage if she is willing.
7. A Night out: Women like to spend quality time along with their partner or like others to see you two as a couple. Take her for a Movie or Play she wants to watch. You could also take her for a Valentine’s Day Party where you could dance together to the music. Whatever you decide on, make sure you enjoy your day with that special one and have a great time together.
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